I remember what my grandmother used to tell me, “Tsagay, always be good and do not let yourself down. Things are changing very fast that it is not what it used to be during my time. I had time to play, sleep, chat and everything I wanted to do though technology was very poor during those years. I will die soon before I burst out of pain of staying in this cruel world where everybody has become selfish, greedy and egoist.”

Whenever I am down and sad, I get through with my dear Angay’s words and boost the person in me. When I look back to those days when I played with my young friends and sisters, I wonder now how hard the time has become. 4 pieces of chewing gum that I used to buy for one ngultrum has engraved away with time and space. The pani puri (Indian fast food commonly called as puchka) that I selfishly dug from the hands of the Indians is no longer three for a rupee. Streets are full of pirated equipments. Everywhere around me, I see things that cannot be trusted any more.  Pirated laptops, pirated mobiles, pirated feelings and pirated love.

What a time that was…? Was it just a piece of fairy tale or was it only a memory that was? People no longer believe in religion. Metro and technology has altered the life of all. People have faster communications but less partners to talk, people have many cars but less journey to travel as stated by Dalali Lama n his paradox of our age. I do not understand why it is like this. But we cannot also attend perfection when we know that troubles are around us and that is what makes us homo sapiens. I do not understand why it has to be like this. The disciplines like mathematics, economics, physics and chemistry teach us various equations and formulas so that we can conclude the problems in the environment around us scientifically and empirically.

I do not know why so I keep wondering what my grandmother told me is a fairytale or just a joke. She used to tell me a whole load of jokes and fairy tales. But if I wind back to what she said and what is happening around us now, I must confess that it is indeed true what my grandmother told me. Look at the monks.  Are they not supposed to pray and meditate? Are they not supposed to be away from greed and material? Are they not supposed to show the ordinary human the examples of how a life should be lived? I guess they are not. Mobile phones surround them. Tobacco and alcohol is becoming a habit for them. Instead of mantras and prayers, I can hear them speaking slang and unfruitful words. I do not know why they tease girls and a lot of them marry and do get rid of the red wrapper around them. Should it be like this then there is no need for monasteries and holy places. There need not be any rules and regulations if that has to be the case.

Why should there be rape? Women do not deserve this… It is indeed not soothing when I see men who possess this ill character. Why do you want to steal? Work if you are not self-sufficient, satisfied and as work is worship, worship the work you do when you are in trouble. Wait for rewards for your work; you will be happy in the end for the trouble you took and it will be fruitful. Ask for help and suggestions, this is the essence of the way that we should live. But why am I saying this? We have scholars, great debaters and highly skilled people who know more than me what life really is and I beg pardon for speaking so. I neither mean to provoke you all nor do I want to criticise you. I just want to be part of you all and the good things in life that you want to share. My dear angay, I will always love you the way you loved me. I am thankful that I am here because of your prayers and blessings. When your body leaves this world may your soul perish in the lands of eternal peace of zangdopelri zhingkham and bless me still…

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